Saturday, August 17, 2013
Horror Film Review
Four long-in-the-tooth drag queens run a dormitory for adolescent boys. Two accidental deaths, one a girl who fell off the roof and the other a chubby teen boy who slipped on a bar of soap, prompts the queens to inexplicably bury the bodies in some nearby woods. Why? Oh, who the hell knows. Their ghosts come back and begin a reign of...not exactly terror. More like annoyance. Everyone tries different ways to rid themselves of the spirits. The queens call in a variety of ghostbusters with results ranging from bizarre to predictably stupid. Two of the boys heard if you strip in front of a ghost it will flee, so one of them does. Doesn't work. The ghost tells him to get dressed. (Disclaimer: When I say "boy" I mean a 16 or 17 year-old guy. And you only see his butt, so it's not too pervy.) Anyway, after the chubby ghost eagerly allows himself to be gang-banged by a dozen brainwashed kickboxers, I gave up on Haunting Me. They don't show the gang-bang, by the way. Small favors...
So what's wrong with this film? Well, besides the obvious nonsensical plot, what's most irritating is the screeching, whining, wailing voices of the queens. Lord, what a racket. If I'd been smart, I would have hit MUTE and just read the subtitles, which, of course, were chock-full of misspellings and awful grammar. Most surprising is the rating it garnered on IMDB. 6.2 out of 10. The only logical explanation is that the majority of voters worked on the movie. Either that or they were all goofed up on shrooms and Mad Dog.
Acting: The only word that comes to mind is "shrill." Oh, and also "crappy." Oddly, the best actors are the two boys with the strip-naked-to-banish-the-ghost theory.
Story: I have no doubt LSD and a VHS of Priscilla Queen of the Desert were involved.
Direction: About as coherent as an Ed Wood film.
Production Values: No budget data is available. If I had to guess, probably a couple of hundred bucks. It's not what you'd call polished.
Gore/FX: The ghost make-up is talcum powder and eye shadow.
Scares: Leave It To Beaver is more frightening.
Ending: No idea, and I'm perfectly fine with that.
Verdict: Should you see Haunting Me? I'm trying to think of one redeeming quality that would justify giving this film a look. Um... Well, there's...no. And that scene where....nuh-uh. How about this - it's weird and foreign and you'll never see anything else like it. Of course, the same can be said of Celine Dion.
Rating: 1 out of 5
Posted by Nate Dean at 11:48 PM