The Woman In Black (2012): Haunted house flick from the U.K. And it doesn't, you know, suck. Before I get into the review, I want to assure you that there will be no references, hints, or allusions to a certain boy wizard that's enjoyed a modicum of popularity over the past decade or so. That said, I was curious as to how Daniel Radcliffe would fare playing a grown-up in an old-fashioned, Gothic horror film. What I discovered surprised me. I'll get to that in a bit, but first...
The film opens with three pre-teen girls enjoying a tea party with their dolls, and yes, the dolls are creepy. For reasons unknown, the girls all stand up, walk to the window and jump to their deaths. Then... Single father and widower Arthur Kipps (Radcliffe) is a distracted solicitor given one last chance to keep his job. He must travel to a recently deceased client's house on the outskirts of a remote village and organize the paperwork to settle the estate. Upon arrival, he's met with what only can be described as dread by the locals. Resident rich man Sam Daily (Ciaran Hinds) takes pity on Kipps and opens his home to him, where we meet Mrs. Daily who went a little batty after the death of their young son. She thinks she channels his spirit from time to time. Anyway, Kipps makes it to the client's property, which becomes an island at high tide, and begins his search for paperwork in the super creepy mansion. It's not long before he starts catching movement in his peripheral vision and hears thuds and bangs. He investigates and soon begins seeing a woman in black lurking about. Soon after that, a girl in the village drinks lye and dies. Another girl sets herself on fire. You start to understand the thing about dread at this point.
Turns out that many years ago, the woman in black was deemed an unfit mother by her sister who took her son away and raised him as her (the sister's) own. The boy died when the carriage he and his aunt and uncle were riding in sank into the brackish depths of the marsh. (At low tide, the area around the property becomes a mucky, muddy bog that's basically like quicksand.) The woman in black never forgave her sister for allowing her son to die when she and her husband survived. Revenge was vowed, and after the woman in black hanged herself in her son's room, an inordinate number of village children died in extraordinary ways in the ensuing years. Kipps believes if he recovers the boy's body from the marsh, he and his mother's souls can find peace...and she'll stop making kids off themselves. You see, Kipps' own son Joseph (Misha Handley) is traveling to town to meet up with his father, so the plan really needs to work. Does it? Hey, that would be telling.
Ok. About Radcliffe. I was surprised that after around a minute of screen time, I fully believed he was a single father mourning the loss of his beloved Stella (Sophie Stuckey) in turn of the century Britain. Also surprising was how effective the film worked as a whole. They chose perhaps the most terrifying subject there is, children dying inexplicably, and subtly wove a tale full of tension and mystery around it. Are you listening, Hollywood? It can be done!
Breakdown
Acting: Radcliffe shines as Kipps and Hinds brings a gravitas to the role of Sam that damn near mesmerizes. Everyone brought their A game to this picture.
Story: A new, albeit dark take on the classic vengeful spirit idea. Once you get past the whole dying kids thing, it's really pretty cool.
Direction: Usually films like this go astray in the second act, but director James Watkins stays on course and never lets off the gas.
Production Values: You watch and know everything's been done properly, especially the eye to period detail. That the budget was only $17 million was a bit of a shock. It feels like a more expensive movie.
Gore/FX: Very little blood, and the minimalist use of CGI works very well. It's what you can't see that's the most frightening.
Scares: Oh, just a few. The one with the wind-up clown toy got me. As did the scene where Sam gets locked in a room in the mansion. There are also a number of basic jump-scares, a crow exploding out of an old fireplace, etc. But it's the tension and anxiety that builds up as you experience the haunting with Kipps that really makes this a "horror" film.
Ending: Not exactly what I expected, but I liked it.
Verdict: Should you see The Woman In Black? I'm not going to qualify this answer, I'm just going to say "yes." It's not gross and there are no subtitles, so no excuses.
Rating: 4 out of 5
A Haunting In South Dakota
This is the continuing saga of my haunted house. When the activity settles down, I post reviews of horror films and TV shows - the good, the bad, and the zombie.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Horror Film Review
11-11-11: The Prophecy (2011): End of days flick! Don't get excited. Like I did. I think by the time I learn to stop getting my hopes up about horror films, Armageddon will be nigh. Maybe I'm just an optimist. That's crap, of course. I'm a realist teetering on the edge of fatalism. My problem is that I fully expect filmmakers to know what the hell they're doing. How hard can it be? It's not like there aren't literally hundreds of movies you can point to and say, "Hey! See what they did? We won't do that and our film won't totally suck ass." Yeah, I'm a dreamer. And I so wanted to like this one. Dammit.
All right. Here's the deal. Famous pulp writer Joseph Crone (Timothy Gibbs) lost his wife and daughter in a fire on November 11th. Arson by a crazed fan. Crone then lost his faith and will to live. He gets into a nasty car accident after leaving a grief support group meeting at 11:11 AM but walks away without a scratch. Soon thereafter, he not only sees 1111 everywhere but also creepy shadow people lurking about. His estranged brother Samuel (Michael Landes) calls from Spain to say their father, also estranged, is dying so Joe flies to Barcelona. Sam's a wheelchair-bound pastor living and preaching at the family estate by the sea. I know...weird. Anyway, Sam gets on Joe about his atheism. Joe gets on Sam about the God stuff. Like that. Joe goes on the internet (What did horror movies do before the internet? Oh, yeah...not suck.) and learns that folks who see 1111 a lot are "chosen" to receive messages by celestial beings blah, blah, blah. Trust me, it's dumb. The upshot for Joe is that he's supposed to protect Sam from being sacrificed by demons who want to jump start the Rapture on 11-11-11. And he tries...only to learn, and I'm doing a spoiler thing here, that Sam orchestrated the whole thing because you see, Sam is evil and Joe's sacrifice somehow manages to elevate Sam to lead a new church with millions of followers (Joe's reader fans, it turns out). If you're wondering why or how...or if you're like me (what the f**k), I'm sorry, but I can't help.
There's even a subplot involving a woman, Sadie (Wendy Glenn) from Joe's grief group who flies to Barcelona to comfort him (Platonically). A nutter who tried to kill Sam and Joe dropped his camera. Joe brought it to a shop to have the film developed. While he's doing his protecting thing, he sends Sadie to pick up the pics and tells her they're important for reasons not explained. So while all hell's breaking loose on the estate and Joe's taking a knife for his brother who I'm assuming really isn't his brother, Sadie's in an alley looking at photos. One freaks her out, so she sets it and the others on fire. What was the photo? They don't show us. It was at this point that I considered picking up an oak log from beside my fireplace and launching it at the television.
A few other things. Joe sees his dead and very crispy son a couple of times. Why? Don't know. Why did the weirdo try to kill Sam and Joe? Don't know. Is Same supposed to be Satan? Maybe, but don't know. Why did Joe's dad tell him to protect Sam if Sam was evil? Don't know. How did Joe make an internet plea to his readers to follow Sam's new "church" if he'd been fatally stabbed? Don't know. Why did I assume this would be a cool movie based solely on its premise? Easy...I'm a freaking moron.
Breakdown
Acting: It's not good. Gibbs overdoes it while Landes reminded me of the oak log I wanted to throw. Glenn is just right but it's a wasted performance.
Story: Nonsensical. This makes Schwarzenegger's End of Days look Oscar worthy.
Direction: Disjointed is too kind.
Production Values: It was filmed mostly in Barcelona and yet the filmmakers failed to capitalize on that city's unique beauty and history. Well, there was a ten-second montage during Joe's cab ride from the airport but that was it. And I also need to bitch about the lighting...there wasn't enough of it. Too damn dark. Couldn't tell what was going on half the time (not that it mattered).
Gore/FX: No blood. The fire scene was all right. The demon make up is impossible to judge because of the lighting.
Scares: A couple of jump-scares. One involving the dying father is actually pretty effective.
Ending: I had a log locked and loaded, remember?
Verdict: Should you see 11-11-11? Oh, please don't. Save yourselves.
Rating: 1 out of 5
All right. Here's the deal. Famous pulp writer Joseph Crone (Timothy Gibbs) lost his wife and daughter in a fire on November 11th. Arson by a crazed fan. Crone then lost his faith and will to live. He gets into a nasty car accident after leaving a grief support group meeting at 11:11 AM but walks away without a scratch. Soon thereafter, he not only sees 1111 everywhere but also creepy shadow people lurking about. His estranged brother Samuel (Michael Landes) calls from Spain to say their father, also estranged, is dying so Joe flies to Barcelona. Sam's a wheelchair-bound pastor living and preaching at the family estate by the sea. I know...weird. Anyway, Sam gets on Joe about his atheism. Joe gets on Sam about the God stuff. Like that. Joe goes on the internet (What did horror movies do before the internet? Oh, yeah...not suck.) and learns that folks who see 1111 a lot are "chosen" to receive messages by celestial beings blah, blah, blah. Trust me, it's dumb. The upshot for Joe is that he's supposed to protect Sam from being sacrificed by demons who want to jump start the Rapture on 11-11-11. And he tries...only to learn, and I'm doing a spoiler thing here, that Sam orchestrated the whole thing because you see, Sam is evil and Joe's sacrifice somehow manages to elevate Sam to lead a new church with millions of followers (Joe's reader fans, it turns out). If you're wondering why or how...or if you're like me (what the f**k), I'm sorry, but I can't help.
There's even a subplot involving a woman, Sadie (Wendy Glenn) from Joe's grief group who flies to Barcelona to comfort him (Platonically). A nutter who tried to kill Sam and Joe dropped his camera. Joe brought it to a shop to have the film developed. While he's doing his protecting thing, he sends Sadie to pick up the pics and tells her they're important for reasons not explained. So while all hell's breaking loose on the estate and Joe's taking a knife for his brother who I'm assuming really isn't his brother, Sadie's in an alley looking at photos. One freaks her out, so she sets it and the others on fire. What was the photo? They don't show us. It was at this point that I considered picking up an oak log from beside my fireplace and launching it at the television.
A few other things. Joe sees his dead and very crispy son a couple of times. Why? Don't know. Why did the weirdo try to kill Sam and Joe? Don't know. Is Same supposed to be Satan? Maybe, but don't know. Why did Joe's dad tell him to protect Sam if Sam was evil? Don't know. How did Joe make an internet plea to his readers to follow Sam's new "church" if he'd been fatally stabbed? Don't know. Why did I assume this would be a cool movie based solely on its premise? Easy...I'm a freaking moron.
Breakdown
Acting: It's not good. Gibbs overdoes it while Landes reminded me of the oak log I wanted to throw. Glenn is just right but it's a wasted performance.
Story: Nonsensical. This makes Schwarzenegger's End of Days look Oscar worthy.
Direction: Disjointed is too kind.
Production Values: It was filmed mostly in Barcelona and yet the filmmakers failed to capitalize on that city's unique beauty and history. Well, there was a ten-second montage during Joe's cab ride from the airport but that was it. And I also need to bitch about the lighting...there wasn't enough of it. Too damn dark. Couldn't tell what was going on half the time (not that it mattered).
Gore/FX: No blood. The fire scene was all right. The demon make up is impossible to judge because of the lighting.
Scares: A couple of jump-scares. One involving the dying father is actually pretty effective.
Ending: I had a log locked and loaded, remember?
Verdict: Should you see 11-11-11? Oh, please don't. Save yourselves.
Rating: 1 out of 5
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Horror Film Review
Strigoi (2009): So here's a British vampire flick, touted as a dark horror comedy, that was filmed in Romania and stars Romanians speaking English. I know what you're thinking...Romania means Transylvania, and Transylvania means Dracula. Nope. In Romanian folklore, strigoi are the dead who return from the grave to resolve unfinished business, like zombies who've attended a motivational seminar. And they're hungry for anything. Live chickens, casseroles, dogs, pickles, humans...whatever's handy. To confuse the issue, you don't need to be bitten to become strigoi and you don't even have to die to be one; you can be born strigoi. Still with me? Given the unique characteristics of strigoi and the Romanian setting, the movie should be full of atmospheric awesomeness. It would be silly to squander this opportunity and instead focus on real estate fraud and eastern European politics, right?
The film starts out with angry villagers, under the direction of the local priest, dragging the town's most wealthy couple out to a field and killing them. This is followed by an odd montage of the villagers pillaging their home and, well, partying. Cut to Vlad (Catalin Paraschiv) a young man recently returned to the village from Italy where he dropped out of medical school. He's staying with his old and decidedly quirky grandfather (Rudy Rosenfeld) and after searching for his grandpa's lost dog, discovers everyone is acting strange. And that there are an inordinate number of dead chickens and missing dogs in the town. The rich dead couple, Constantin and Ileana Tirescu (Constantin Barbulescu and Roxana Guttman) have come back from the grave, of course, but Vlad and the other townsfolk seem more interested in finding certain documents related to real estate ownership. See, after communism fell in Romania, the land ownership reverted back to the deed holders but only if they could produce the original papers. Otherwise, the land was put up for sale. A rich guy like Constantin cleaned up...and pissed off a lot of people, hence the dragging and killing.
I'll admit, I was lost a great deal of the time trying to follow the story. There's a thing with a local cop who Vlad tries to enlist in his investigation. Constantin kills the cop and the next thing you know, Vlad digs him up, cuts out his heart and burns it. Another thing is that everybody calls Vlad a "pussy" apparently because he didn't want to be a doctor. Also, it turns out the grandfather is strigoi and drinks Vlad's blood while he sleeps. At one point, Vlad says, "And stop drinking my blood," to which his grandpa replies angrily, "It's my blood. I gave it to you." O-kaay. We know Vlad's parents and siblings are all doctors but it's not explained where any of them are. One last thing...the humor. It's so dry it makes Death Valley seem tropical. The scene with the jar of pickles did crack me up, though.
Breakdown
Acting: Paraschiv is sympathetic and convincing as the bewildered Vlad. Rosenfeld is similarly outstanding in his own, quiet way. No one else's performance sucks, really.
Story: Full marks for the strigoi idea. The execution, however, leaves a lot to be desired.
Direction: Disjointed, which may account for the confusion.
Production Values: Since it was filmed in Romania, authenticity was achieved. That is to say, the village looks as down-trodden and poor and you'd expect. Not sure what the budget was but there's no cheap feel about it. Location shooting hides many sins.
Gore/FX: There's a little blood...and the open-heart surgery on police guy but nothing overly gross.
Scares: No.
Ending: Weird.
Verdict: Should you see Strigoi? Maybe as a socio-political curiosity or a local anthropological novelty but definitely not as a horror flick. I can't recommend it despite all of the positive reviews floating around out there. I have a theory about that...if a reviewer doesn't completely understand a film, rather than admit it, he praises it. I freely admit that parts of Strigoi went over my head but I'm not recommending it simply because it's not a very good horror movie.
Rating: 2 out of 5
The film starts out with angry villagers, under the direction of the local priest, dragging the town's most wealthy couple out to a field and killing them. This is followed by an odd montage of the villagers pillaging their home and, well, partying. Cut to Vlad (Catalin Paraschiv) a young man recently returned to the village from Italy where he dropped out of medical school. He's staying with his old and decidedly quirky grandfather (Rudy Rosenfeld) and after searching for his grandpa's lost dog, discovers everyone is acting strange. And that there are an inordinate number of dead chickens and missing dogs in the town. The rich dead couple, Constantin and Ileana Tirescu (Constantin Barbulescu and Roxana Guttman) have come back from the grave, of course, but Vlad and the other townsfolk seem more interested in finding certain documents related to real estate ownership. See, after communism fell in Romania, the land ownership reverted back to the deed holders but only if they could produce the original papers. Otherwise, the land was put up for sale. A rich guy like Constantin cleaned up...and pissed off a lot of people, hence the dragging and killing.
I'll admit, I was lost a great deal of the time trying to follow the story. There's a thing with a local cop who Vlad tries to enlist in his investigation. Constantin kills the cop and the next thing you know, Vlad digs him up, cuts out his heart and burns it. Another thing is that everybody calls Vlad a "pussy" apparently because he didn't want to be a doctor. Also, it turns out the grandfather is strigoi and drinks Vlad's blood while he sleeps. At one point, Vlad says, "And stop drinking my blood," to which his grandpa replies angrily, "It's my blood. I gave it to you." O-kaay. We know Vlad's parents and siblings are all doctors but it's not explained where any of them are. One last thing...the humor. It's so dry it makes Death Valley seem tropical. The scene with the jar of pickles did crack me up, though.
Breakdown
Acting: Paraschiv is sympathetic and convincing as the bewildered Vlad. Rosenfeld is similarly outstanding in his own, quiet way. No one else's performance sucks, really.
Story: Full marks for the strigoi idea. The execution, however, leaves a lot to be desired.
Direction: Disjointed, which may account for the confusion.
Production Values: Since it was filmed in Romania, authenticity was achieved. That is to say, the village looks as down-trodden and poor and you'd expect. Not sure what the budget was but there's no cheap feel about it. Location shooting hides many sins.
Gore/FX: There's a little blood...and the open-heart surgery on police guy but nothing overly gross.
Scares: No.
Ending: Weird.
Verdict: Should you see Strigoi? Maybe as a socio-political curiosity or a local anthropological novelty but definitely not as a horror flick. I can't recommend it despite all of the positive reviews floating around out there. I have a theory about that...if a reviewer doesn't completely understand a film, rather than admit it, he praises it. I freely admit that parts of Strigoi went over my head but I'm not recommending it simply because it's not a very good horror movie.
Rating: 2 out of 5
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Horror Film Review
Devil's Playground (2010): Zombie flick! From the U.K.! How this one slipped by under my radar I'll never know. Whereas most zombie movies are stocked with mostly unknown actors, you'll be hard pressed not to recognize most of the players here. I was astonished and figured such a collection of talent must translate into a kick-ass film. Right? Right? Well...
It's a familiar tune: 30,000 Brits volunteer for a trial run of a new drug that's supposed to boost the mind and give the average bloke a bit more bounce in his step. A month in, however, it's obvious to anyone with the brains God gave slugs that it's not gone well. Suddenly, all of the volunteers are getting sick, violently so, but before the authorities can get a handle on this new health crisis, the biting begins. And then the running and screaming and...eating.
Cole (Craig Fairbrass from White Noise 2) is the pharmeceutical company's security chief and chief leg-breaker. He learns from the drug's creator that one of the 30,000 did not get sick and is therefore the key to a cure. Cole must find her and carry her to safety. This would be Angela (MyAnna Buring from The Descent and The Descent 2). And of course she's pregnant. Which leads us to her cop ex-boyfriend Joe (Danny Dyer from Doghouse) who after shooting a kid, was sent to prison. Lucky him, he gets released the morning everything goes tits up and goes to the boondocks on the edge of London to stay with his friend Rob (Sean Pertwee from Dog Doldiers). Inevitably, everyone ends up at Rob's where a fleeing couple beg to stay. These are Lavinia (Jaime Murray from The Deaths of Ian Stone and of Warehouse 13 fame) and Geoffrey (Shane Taylor from Band of Brothers).
The whole group decides they need to trek across town to an abandoned helicopter. Sounds stupid but it kind of makes sense when you're watching. Anyway, the peckish zombies give chase and most of the group end up as supper. This not a spoiler but rather part and parcel of the genre. One thing I should mention about the zombies: they're very fast and in addition to morphing into mindless cannibals, they apparetnly become free runners (you know, those guys who do crazy jumps and tumbles in urban areas for reasons passing understanding). It's jarring to see in a serious zombie flick but not overly distracting. Just weird. Ultimately, Devil's Playground is a combination of Children of Men and 28 Weeks Later and not as good as either. It's an above average cast in an average zombie film. I'd have preferred it the other way around.
Breakdown
Acting: Fairbrass is intense and engaging. I expected more out of Dyer who plays Joe too straight. Humor would have helped. The rest of the cast do their job but no one really stands out.
Story: Recycled. We've seen it all before. Well, except for the zombies leaping and rolling around London like circus performers.
Direction: Oddly uninvolving.
Production Values: It's got a gritty texture to it common to many films from the U.K. and that helps with the realism. Although it is low budget, it doesn't look it. That said, there aren't enough set pieces.
Gore/FX: Pretty low blood factor. Lower than I expected and hoped. The zombie FX are properly creepy and disturbing, though.
Scares: Not any "gotcha" jumps but a few scenes that'll get you to the edge of your seat.
Ending: Sorry to say it's a cliche and quite boring.
Verdict: Should you see Devil's Playground? Fans of zombie movies should, yes. Others, well...there are worse ways to spend your time. Like watching the Twilight films. Or grouting tile.
Rating: 3 out of 5
It's a familiar tune: 30,000 Brits volunteer for a trial run of a new drug that's supposed to boost the mind and give the average bloke a bit more bounce in his step. A month in, however, it's obvious to anyone with the brains God gave slugs that it's not gone well. Suddenly, all of the volunteers are getting sick, violently so, but before the authorities can get a handle on this new health crisis, the biting begins. And then the running and screaming and...eating.
Cole (Craig Fairbrass from White Noise 2) is the pharmeceutical company's security chief and chief leg-breaker. He learns from the drug's creator that one of the 30,000 did not get sick and is therefore the key to a cure. Cole must find her and carry her to safety. This would be Angela (MyAnna Buring from The Descent and The Descent 2). And of course she's pregnant. Which leads us to her cop ex-boyfriend Joe (Danny Dyer from Doghouse) who after shooting a kid, was sent to prison. Lucky him, he gets released the morning everything goes tits up and goes to the boondocks on the edge of London to stay with his friend Rob (Sean Pertwee from Dog Doldiers). Inevitably, everyone ends up at Rob's where a fleeing couple beg to stay. These are Lavinia (Jaime Murray from The Deaths of Ian Stone and of Warehouse 13 fame) and Geoffrey (Shane Taylor from Band of Brothers).
The whole group decides they need to trek across town to an abandoned helicopter. Sounds stupid but it kind of makes sense when you're watching. Anyway, the peckish zombies give chase and most of the group end up as supper. This not a spoiler but rather part and parcel of the genre. One thing I should mention about the zombies: they're very fast and in addition to morphing into mindless cannibals, they apparetnly become free runners (you know, those guys who do crazy jumps and tumbles in urban areas for reasons passing understanding). It's jarring to see in a serious zombie flick but not overly distracting. Just weird. Ultimately, Devil's Playground is a combination of Children of Men and 28 Weeks Later and not as good as either. It's an above average cast in an average zombie film. I'd have preferred it the other way around.
Breakdown
Acting: Fairbrass is intense and engaging. I expected more out of Dyer who plays Joe too straight. Humor would have helped. The rest of the cast do their job but no one really stands out.
Story: Recycled. We've seen it all before. Well, except for the zombies leaping and rolling around London like circus performers.
Direction: Oddly uninvolving.
Production Values: It's got a gritty texture to it common to many films from the U.K. and that helps with the realism. Although it is low budget, it doesn't look it. That said, there aren't enough set pieces.
Gore/FX: Pretty low blood factor. Lower than I expected and hoped. The zombie FX are properly creepy and disturbing, though.
Scares: Not any "gotcha" jumps but a few scenes that'll get you to the edge of your seat.
Ending: Sorry to say it's a cliche and quite boring.
Verdict: Should you see Devil's Playground? Fans of zombie movies should, yes. Others, well...there are worse ways to spend your time. Like watching the Twilight films. Or grouting tile.
Rating: 3 out of 5
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Horror Film Review
Beyond the Wall of Sleep (2006): When I come to power, I will make it a felony to use H.P. Lovecraft's name in vain. It's classic bait-and-switch where they hook you by using the horror master's name and then you find out too late it's been attached to an utter pile of cinematic crapola. I was not amused. Actually, I can't remember being more pissed off after watching a movie. Well...The Last Exorcism, Cabin Fever 2, and Paranormal Activity (three of the stinkiest I've ever seen) came pretty close.
So why does it suck? Oh, the reasons are myriad and legion despite the interesting premise: a mountain man, locked up in an insane asylum for murdering his family, becomes the obsession of an intern with ulterior and, of course, dark motives. Something to do with tapping into the evil lurking within the killer. Or some such nonsense. You see, the problem is you never really know what the hell is going on. And when I saw Tom Savini appear on the screen as the sheriff, I knew I was truly doomed. Don't get me wrong. Tom's awesome...as a special effects artist. As an actor, he's right up there with Joe Estevez [shudder].
Breakdown
Acting: As bad as it is, it's not the worst thing about this movie.
Story: The narrative thread is about cohesive as a bag of wet gerbils.
Direction: So disjointed and bizarre that I'm convinced directors Barrett Leigh and Thom Maurer were treating their ADD with peyote.
Production Values: The film looks cheap, feels cheap, and after watching it, I felt cheap. The lighting is awful. It was like watching it through scummy swamp water. I don't know what the budget was, but if it was more than a few grand, the filmmakers got some 'splaining to do.
Gore/FX: A few buckets of well-placed blood could have at least partially redeemed this picture but alas, it was not to be.
Scares: About as scary as a bag of wet gerbils.
Ending: It can't possibly matter.
Verdict: Should you see Beyond the Wall of Sleep? I wouldn't wish this movie on Hitler.
Rating: 0 out of 5
So why does it suck? Oh, the reasons are myriad and legion despite the interesting premise: a mountain man, locked up in an insane asylum for murdering his family, becomes the obsession of an intern with ulterior and, of course, dark motives. Something to do with tapping into the evil lurking within the killer. Or some such nonsense. You see, the problem is you never really know what the hell is going on. And when I saw Tom Savini appear on the screen as the sheriff, I knew I was truly doomed. Don't get me wrong. Tom's awesome...as a special effects artist. As an actor, he's right up there with Joe Estevez [shudder].
Breakdown
Acting: As bad as it is, it's not the worst thing about this movie.
Story: The narrative thread is about cohesive as a bag of wet gerbils.
Direction: So disjointed and bizarre that I'm convinced directors Barrett Leigh and Thom Maurer were treating their ADD with peyote.
Production Values: The film looks cheap, feels cheap, and after watching it, I felt cheap. The lighting is awful. It was like watching it through scummy swamp water. I don't know what the budget was, but if it was more than a few grand, the filmmakers got some 'splaining to do.
Gore/FX: A few buckets of well-placed blood could have at least partially redeemed this picture but alas, it was not to be.
Scares: About as scary as a bag of wet gerbils.
Ending: It can't possibly matter.
Verdict: Should you see Beyond the Wall of Sleep? I wouldn't wish this movie on Hitler.
Rating: 0 out of 5
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